A Personal Update 🩷
I'm going through a lot right now and I wanted to share this with you as it might also affect this ministry.
My health is not good. I have flareups of colitis and there is something going on with my nervous system (no diagnosis yet) and I never fully recovered my strength from being bedridden from an eating disorder which I still struggle with (ARFID). I was bedridden for a 2nd time last September and had to start physical therapy again and went until our insurance ran out, now I do what I can from home. I'm still not strong enough to even open the refrigerator or make my own meals. I'm making progress but it's very slow. I also struggle with mental health issues, anxiety and OCD. Lately I've been battling depression ... some days I feel like I'm fine and other days its a battle (maybe bipolar 2?). My nerve pain medication helps with pain issues but it also helps a little with my anxiety as it helps calm my nervous system.
If you want to better understand my health issues, here's a picture of me in 2021 right before I became bedridden the 1st time from my eating disorder (Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder). I don't like to refer to body weight as its triggering for me, but it was dangerously low.
In the 1st photo above just standing there by the Christmas tree to take a photo was very painful. I was unable to walk less than a month later. I had to advocate for myself. I realized I had an eating disorder (I initially thought my weight loss was just from my ulcerative colitis, I didn't realize for a year that I had developed an eating disorder) and needed help and I went to the doctor, then got a nutritionist to help me start eating better and started going to physical therapy as well. I had nutrient deficiencies too and began taking a daily supplement. My eating disorder also ruined my teeth.
I'll talk about this more someday in a future post. This is why I don't like diet culture. Although my eating disorder is primarily due to fear of illness from eating foods that cause my colitis to flareup, it's also partially due to body image issues I've battled for years. I had anorexia in high-school for a year.
On top of everything else, my husband lost his job in January and hasn't found a new one yet. He's also my full-time caregiver. Please pray for him and for us as it's put a strain on our marriage and he has health issues too. We don't have any health insurance right now and unemployment will run out soon. I have not been able to finish my testing for my nervous system issues and I also have dental issues that are not good but we cannot afford to go to appointments.
In September we will more than likely have to move in with my mother in-law who lives nearby. She has an extra room in her house, but this will not be easy for us. When I became bedridden the 1st and 2nd time NOBODY came to visit me or tried to help us out so I feel very much alone in my struggles. If it were not for my husband I would not have anyone to care for me. My daughter Serena and I are estranged since she left home and that's a whole other difficult thing for me.
I do have grace believing friends that I can talk to over the phone and online who live far away and I am thankful for them. I also do talk with my mom and some other family members but they live far away.
If it were not for God's grace, I wouldn't be able to get through any of this.
I'm still continuing with the work of the ministry, as well as trying to build a little side business selling digital products. I'm creating some new printables like Journals and other things but it takes time. I also only have so much strength each day even for online stuff using my phone.
I wanted to be open and honest because I may have to stop podcasting again after September for awhile although I'll still try to do what I can with blogging, social media, the newsletter and creating products too.
I want to ask for your prayers. I'm asking for prayers for my inner man- my mind and heart. That God would strengthen me in my inner man during this difficult time. That I would remember how much God loves me, and that I'm not alone. That I would remember that I am complete in Christ and my identity is in him, not in my circumstances or finances or health or relationships. That I would keep my focus on things above while also taking necessary steps in the here and now to hopefully improve my living situation and gain more strength and ability. Pray that God would send fellow labourors (believers) to encourage me. Pray for my marriage that our hearts would be softened towards one another during this stressful time. Pray that my family and in-laws would also have softened hearts towards us and towards the gospel. Pray that I'll be able to continue to do the work of the ministry and to share the gospel boldly with others even though I'm going through a lot right now.
I keep you all in my prayers as well. I don't have a local grace church so I'm reaching out to all of you.
I think about the Apostle Paul and the sufferings he went through, and his imprisonments and at times being homeless and lonely. Even though he struggled, God worked it all together for good and for God's glory. And God's grace got him through very difficult times! Having the hope of eternal life makes all the difference because if all you have are the things of this world, you don't have anything that will last.
Tit 3:7 KJV -
7 That being justified by his grace, we should be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life.
Colossians 3
1¶If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God.
2Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.
3For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God.
4When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory.
Eph 6:18 KJV -
18 Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;
Thank you!
In His Grace,
Adrienne Jason
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