How to Stop Gossiping
James 3:7-8 in the KJB says,
7For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind:
8But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.
It's not even possible for an unbeliever to tame their tongue. Keep this in mind the next time that you are shocked by the things that unbelievers say! In olden days, man made more of an attempt to try to tame their tongue which is why etiquette and manners were introduced into civilized societies. Wars and all kinds of calamities have been a result of unruly tongues!
The reason why the tongue can be so offensive is because the tongue speaks what is in our hearts, and an unbelievers heart is desperately wicked. Therefore, no unbeliever can truly tame his tongue not to speak evil things.
Jeremiah 17:9 in the KJB says,
"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?"
However, believers are different. We have been crucified with Christ and we have God's Spirit living in our spirit. This makes it possible for us to tame our tongues. Oncemore, we also have God's word. The more sound grace doctrine that we have built up in our mind and heart, the more we can choose to speak things that are kind, helpful, encouraging, truthful and edifying.
That being said, it's still not always so easy to always speak things that are good. In fact, even as believers we still sometimes sin and this includes the sin of gossip. Gossip is more "acceptable" in society today. But even in gentler times, gossip was still an issue even in the church and especially amongst women. I love reading the Anne of Green Gables books and though the books are fictional, they do portray that particular time period and it was a more gentle time, however, a common thing among some characters in the small towns in the series was gossip! But, of course in the books you realize that we should not be gossips!
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof." - Proverbs 18:21
Paul tells us not to be gossiping. Gossip can hurt your ministry and your testimony.
Ephesians 4:29 - Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
Titus 3:2 - To speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle, shewing all meekness unto all men.
Proverbs often talks about gossiping as being a sin.
Proverbs 16:28 - A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends.
Proverbs 11:13 - A talebearer revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter.
Proverbs 20:19 - He that goeth about as a talebearer revealeth secrets: therefore meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips.
Proverbs 6:16-19
16 These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:
17 A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,
18 An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,
19 A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.
In 1 Timothy 5, Paul says that young widows need to remarry and to be busy taking care of their husbands, children and home so as not to be lazy or gossips!
1 Timothy 5:11-15 in the KJB says,
11 But the younger widows refuse: for when they have begun to wax wanton against Christ, they will marry;
12 Having damnation, because they have cast off their first faith.
13 And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not.
14 I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
15 For some are already turned aside after Satan.
It's also important to get sound grace doctrine in our inner man, which is why Paul tells us to study to be quiet and to work with our own hands. This means to spend your time studying God's Word rightly divided and doing things around the house for your family- cooking, cleaning, taking care of children, teaching your children, organizing things, and perhaps hobbies, arts, crafts, journaling etc. You can even spend time writing or creating videos, blogs and podcasts on Bible study and biblical womanhood and homemaking if you are an older, godly woman with grown children. When you are busy with these kinds of things, you are less likely to be gossiping and you are also not just being lazy all day. We are NOT to be spending all day scrolling social media or watching tv or the news all day, reading gossip magazines, binge watching streaming shows, going house to house gossiping or gossiping in text or phone calls, etc. Taming the tongue also includes what we say on the internet via social media, texting and emails!
1Th 4:11 KJV
"And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you;"
So, as a believer you will sometimes sin which will include sometimes engaging in gossip. However, we can choose instead to walk after the Spirit by daily reading and studying God's Word rightly divided and being busy in our own homes working with our own hands.
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