Unrealistic expectations | Careful for Nothing Grace Devotional
Unrealistic expectations can lead to feelings of anxiety, stress, fear and depression. Unrealistic expectations can include:
• Expecting or hoping that God will do something for us that he isn't doing today.
• Expecting certain things from the world and not getting what we wanted.
• Expecting other people to be a certain way and then they let us down when they aren't that way.
• Expecting things from ourselves and then getting depressed when we don't meet our own expectations.
Let's look more closely at each of these things.
• Expecting or hoping that God will do something for us that he isn't doing today.
Many people will pray for God to do something and then when he doesn't meet their expectations, they get angry as well as anxious, fearful, worried, stressed and depressed. For example, God isn't physically, miraculously healing us today in the dispensation of grace like he did during Christ's earthly ministry. We have doctors, medicine, natural medicine and other things that might help us to heal, and God did create our bodies with the ability to heal from many things. God can also strengthen us in our inner man whenever we are experiencing any kind of suffering and we can offer to help those who are sick, visit or take care of those who are sick, send them comforting cards in the mail if they live far away, and to bring them words of comfort from the scriptures as well. God is focused primarily on our inner man, that we will be saved and then mature spiritually through the word. Today, in the dispensation of grace, he is forming the church the Body of Christ to fill the heavenly places. During Christ's earthly ministry he performed physical miracles to prove to Israel that he was their Messiah and to cleanse the land of disease and devil possession for the coming kingdom on earth, which at the time was at-hand (it is now temporarily put on hold while Christ forms the body of Christ to fill the heavenly places). Today, we are not awaiting the earthly, prophetic kingdom but for Christ to appear in the clouds to gather all believers from the dispensation of grace unto himself, and then to take us up to the heavenly places. But, if a person, usually someone who doesn't rightly divide the scriptures, prays to be miraculously healed or for a loved one to be miraculously healed and it doesn't happen, they have a misplaced hope, and they might then say something like:
• Well, God works in mysterious ways!
• Well, it wasn't God's will to heal me (or this other person) but it is God's will to sometimes heal others I guess (this leads to feeling insecure in Christ and unloved)!
• God must hate me. I must be being punished.
• I didn't have enough faith. I failed God and others.
• Do I have secret sin that prevented the healing?
• I don't have enough understanding of the scriptures to be blessed like that.
These are depressing thoughts! But, if instead you actually understand more about what God IS doing today, and about your identity in Christ, you will not be having these kinds of expectations. You will instead experience JOY, PEACE and THANKFULLNESS in all things knowing that you
• Are complete in Christ
• Are accepted in the beloved
• Have Eternal Life and are eternally secure in Him
• Have all SPIRITUAL blessings in Christ Jesus
• Have a blessed hope which is the pre-tribulation rapture of the Church the Body of Christ, receiving our glorified bodies at the rapture and living with Christ in the Heavenly places forever once we have been raptured out.
And other such wonderful things!
• Expecting certain things from the world and not getting what we wanted.
I know of friends and family who get really anxious, fearful, stressed, worried and even depressed every time it is an election year. They desperately want to see positive changes in the world (or more specifically in their country) and they expect that their party will create that change. But, if they loose the election, they are completely devastated. Or, if their party wins, they get disappointed later on when things still haven't really changed for the better but they blame the other party mostly for all of the problems (All political sides do this)! Social media and 24/7 news coverage doesn't help with this anxiety! What they are doing is placing their faith in the things of this world.
Paul tells us in 2Ti 2:4 KJB,
4 No man that warreth entangleth himself with the affairs of this life; that he may please him who hath chosen him to be a soldier.
We must not expect the world to change for the better either, because it won't until the Lord Jesus Christ returns and makes it better. And believers from the dispensation of grace will be in the heavenly places anyway because we have a heavenly inheritance, not an earthly inheritance! We shouldn't even expect "revival" either. Every so-called "revival" that America has had in the last 100 years or so was just a fleshly experience that led to more unsound doctrine (like charismatic movements for example)! What people need is to get back to the foundational grace doctrines and then mature spiritually through the word- they don't need fake charismatic gifts and hours and hours of singing songs all day every day for days or weeks at a time! Pagans do that!
2Ti 3:13 KJV -
13 But evil men and seducers shall wax worse and worse, deceiving, and being deceived.
2Ti 3:1 KJV -
1 This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.
Instead of placing our hope in the things of this world, we ought to place our hope in God and in his word rightly divided. It is in the Pauline epistles that are written to us that we learn about our blessed hope including the pre-tribulation rapture of the Church the Body of Christ, our Heavenly inheritance, our hope of rewards in heaven and other such things. We need to stay focused on heavenly things, not on the things of this present, evil world.
Phl 3:19 KJV -
19 Whose end is destruction, whose God is their belly, and whose glory is in their shame, who mind earthly things.)
Eph 4:17 KJV -
17 This I say therefore, and testify in the Lord, that ye henceforth walk not as other Gentiles walk, in the vanity of their mind,
Rom 12:2 KJV -
2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
Rom 8:5 KJV -
5 For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit.
Col 3:2 KJV -
2 Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.
• Expecting other people to be a certain way and then they let us down when they aren't that way.
This is also very common especially for new believers. We might have certain expectations of people and when they don't meet our expectations we experience anger, anxiety, depression, worry and stress. It's actually legalistic to expect people to always perform the way that we think that they should! You are placing them under a heavy bondage! People are people and will make mistakes. In fact, it's a mistake for us to expect too much out of others or to expect certain things from them that they really can't do.
For example, You can't expect unbelievers and carnally-minded believers to live godly. They need to be saved first if they are not yet saved and then they need to get sound grace doctrine in their inner man to help them make more godly decisions in life. And even with spiritually mature believers, we ought not to place a heavy burden on them either, but let Christ teach and lead them through the word. If they make a mistake, we must be willing to forgive them. We need to live by grace through faith which includes being gracious and forgiving to others.
Their are of course times when we need boundaries or when we have to draw a hard line with others. We are not to just tolerate anything and everything. As we mature spiritually through the word ourselves, we can make proper decisions in our relationships.
• Expecting things from ourselves and then getting depressed when we don't meet our own expectations.
Just as we can place a heavy burden on others, we can do this to ourselves. This is legalism as well. We need to give ourselves grace. Yes, we can set goals like to read the Bible daily or to improve our physical health, etc but even if you don't meet them, you did your best and you are still "complete in Christ." You are God's dearly beloved! We also make mistakes and sometimes sin because we still have our fleshly bodies and we live in fallen, sin cursed world and where Satan has a policy of evil against us. Just keep in mind who you are in Christ, be thankful in all things, look forward to eternity in the heavenly places, and keep moving forward in your Christian walk. Don't let past mistakes keep you stuck!
Video
